By John J. McGee, Frank J. Menolascino (auth.)
This booklet is for caregivers: those that take care of and approximately kids and adults who live at the very fringe of family members and group existence. it really is in the event you not just are looking to aid those distanced members yet if you happen to additionally are looking to switch themselves within the approach. it truly is for folks, academics, direct care staff, coun selors, social employees, psychologists, psychiatrists, advocates, and all who try to lead to simply therapy for the marginalized. it truly is in case you are looking to contemplate a psychology according to inter dependence and to discover how you can show and perform compan ionship rather than keep an eye on. it's approximately kids and adults who dwell in marginalized stipulations, who're driven and pulled clear of emotions of union and harm themselves, harm others, or just quit. it's should you stay and paintings one of the mentally retarded, the mentally in poor health, the elderly, the homeless, and the terrible. To be marginalized is to be simply managed, remoted, and segregated.
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Additional info for Beyond Gentle Teaching: A Nonaversive Approach to Helping Those in Need
This is Elizabeth's only hope and it needs to be our driving commitment. Value-giving can take an infinite number offorms in its verbal, gestural, and physical expressions. In other words, valuegiving can involve telling stories about ourselves or others, with themes related to friendship, togetherness, home, and the reality in which we live or work. In Elizabeth's instance, value-giving was expressed in the caregiver's warm caress of her hands, in her kind words, and in her smiles and warm gaze.
Every move, step, and expression has to summon up a strong feeling of genuine warmth and exude unconditional valuing. They need to center on it. Nothing is more important than giving value. Whatever else happens, this focus has to transcend everything else. For those trained in behaviorism, this does not mean delivering a litany of contingent phrases; rather, it signifies a dialogue that is ongoing, unrelated to what behaviors might be happening, and an expression of our solidarity with the person.
However, another way is to see ourselves and our purpose in a different light. In spite of the repugnancy or annoyance of the action that the other person might be involved in, we all long for feelings of being valued and being in union with others. Although it is certainly hard to see this when someone is spitting in our face, we make this assumption. We need to dig into the depths of our beliefs and see wholeness in the other. The core of this is the hunger for human interdependence. This cannot be nourished unless we fill each person's plate with valuing.