By Osamu Dazai
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Additional resources for Selected stories and sketches
Example text
You realize I'm only putting you on--it's a bad habit I can't correct. Whenever I meet someone for the first time I always do this silly act. You know the old saying: give him enough rope and he'll hang himself. Stop~ I'm ill~ How about yourself? Literature? " "No, I've got another year. " Gravely he moved the cup to his mouth and took a long sip. I've spent almost eight years in the music school across the way. Can't graduate. I haven't even gone through the exam ritual once. " I'm only jesting.
He was acutely aware of the calendar, and he would remark wistfully that Buddha's death occurred today or that the sexagenary cycle had already entered the zone of the Elder Brother of Metal~ Then he would turn right around and begin grumbling for some inexplicable reason that·the Boys Festival or the Darkness Celebration was upon us. One day near the end of spring I was drinking a beer alone at the usual concession in Ueno Park and savoring the mellow warmth which brought out cherry tree leaves and caterwauling cats, showers of falling blossoms and hordes of wooly worms, when suddenly I became aware of Baba.
The letter went on: If you commit suicide I 1 11 fancy myself the cause of your spite. If that's all right, then go ahead and die. I was never excited about living, but I won't commit suicide. I don't want anyone fattening his ego on my account. Illness or catastrophe will do me in someday, but not for a while. My only present illnesses are a toothache and hemorrhoids, and catastrophes don't happen often. I've tried passing an entire night near the window in my room waiting for a robber to attack, but the only creatures to steal in were the moths and the winged ants, some beetles and a host of mosquitoes.